Thursday, December 31, 2009

Our girls are on their way!

We got an email today that our 2 girls have left their orphanage 14 hours away in Kamashi and are on their way to the Transition House in Addis Ababa.  This is great news!  So now all three of our kids will be there together!

Praise God!

Gifts on December 24th ... Christmas Eve

We've been waiting for this form called an I-171H from Homeland Security. This is our approval to adopt our 3 kids in Ethiopia.  So I called their office in Helena, Montana and left a message, wondering when we might receive it.  The Lord knows you can't talk to a person!  They called back and said they had already sent it to us!  That letter of approval we got, WAS the I-171H.  It was just behind the typed letter.  So we've had it since Dec 24th!

December 24th, 2002, I stood in my front yard with my little family and buried a little box under the fir trees.  We had lost our last baby after 3 months of pregnancy.  It was buried on Christmas Eve.  As we stood there singing Amazing Grace... it started snowing.  I love the snow.  The Lord knows I love the snow.  It was a gift.  It reminded me of the song...

Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling.
Mercy it falls like a sweet spring rain.
Mercy is falling, is falling all over me...

And now 7 years later we recieved 3 gifts on Christmas Eve.
Our court date
Our I-171H
The CD of Gadeza, our Ethiopian son

God is so good.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Faith Like Potatoes

I sought the Lord and He heard me,
and delivered my from all my fears.
O taste and see that they Lord is good
and blessed is the man who trusts Him.

I've been "on my face" as it were, for the past few days.  Really crying out to God regarding our adoption. Was this really you God?  Or have I done all this in my own strength?  Now that we've gotten this far, will you send the money that we need to complete this adoption?  Or will you leave us hanging here?  I'm not good at waiting.  I'm good at getting the job done.  Are you there?  Are you listening?  Why are you silent?  I need to hear from You!  It has felt like God has withdrawn Himself, to see what was in my heart.

We watched a great movie last night.  "Faith Like Potatoes"  A story about a South African farmer.  Who had a dramatic conversion to Jesus.  Based on a true story.  He was used by God because of his faith in God's power and God did incredible miracles.  And after hearing from God he planted potatos in the dry drought land of Africa.  Then prayed for a harvest.  Everyone thought he was crazy. But He believed God and did not doubt.

He explained it that faith is like potatoes that grow under the ground where it is hidden.  You can't see what God is doing sometimes, until the time is right and it's ready to harvest. 

Today, Christmas Eve, we received not one but THREE really cool things.

1) We have a court date in Ethiopia.  January 21st. 
    When we pass our kids will be legally ours!
2) We got an approval letter from Homeland Security for our I-600A
3) We got a CD of our son, Gadeza in Ethiopia,
     looking at our photo album. He looked a little scared
     and kept shaking his head, Yes then No. Please, pray for him...

But the Lord is faithful.  He hears the cries of our hearts.  He is doing things even when we can not see.  So .... I will, with all of my will, TRUST my Lord to deliver these children all the way home to us and bring us all the finances we need.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Submitted to Court!

I don't know how she does it, but our director Sue is awesome.  I just barely got my dossier off Express Mail, when I got an email from Ethiopia saying our cases have been submitted to the courts in Ethiopa and we should have a court date soon!  Probably by the end of January!

This is incredible!  Very exciting!  Very scarey too, because we still do not have our funds ready to complete the adoption yet.  This is definately a Faith journey.  There is nothing I can do to make this happen.  It is totally in the Father's hands.  A hard place to be when you are used to getting things done. 

Wait on the Lord ... and He will stregthen your heart.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Updated Adoption Status

Steps we have completed:
$  Home Study - Tons of paperwork                         
$  Choose an Adoption Agency - More paperwork      
    Education Requirements - Reading and paperwork        
    Choose Children to be Adopted - We chose 3!    
$  Gather Documents for Dossier - Mountain of paperwork
$  Passports for Everyone                                 
$  Submit I-600A - Apply for Homeland Security Approval
$  Get Fingerprints Taken   
    First Home Study put on on Hold
$  Second Home Study - new agency - Redo Paperwork                     
    Get an Approved Home Study - Praise the Lord!           
$  Apply for Adoption Grants  
$  Get State Seals from Sec of State
    Copy of Dossier hand carried to Ethiopia by our Director!

Steps to be completed:
$  Submit Dossier to be Authenticated in Washington DC
$  Original Dossier Sent to Ethiopia
$  Receive Grant money
$  First half of In-Country Fees - This is a HUGE Mountain!

$  Second half In-Country Fees - Same
$  Receive an I-171H Approval from Homeland Security
    Receive a Court Date
    Pass Court -  Kids legally ours thru Power of Attorney!
$  Submit I-600 to Adopt 3 kids
$  Submit DS-230 App. for Immigrant Visa and Alien Registration
$  Submit I-864 Immigration Affidavit of Support
    Receive an Embassy Date
$  Make Travel Arrangements - another financial mountain
    Travel to Ethiopia
$  Food and Lodging
    PICK UP OUR KIDS!
    Show up for Embassy Appointment
$  Pick up Visas for kids
    Travel Home at last!

God is Faithful. He hears our Prayers.

I had been working really hard the past few weeks getting ready for the big annual "Chirstmas Stroll" event here in Whitehall, MT. Always a big $ maker each year for my little business, www.wildprairiefarms.net. But this year, with the economy the way it is, it has been slow all year. But in faith (and absurd boldness) I prayed that we would make $1000 by the end of the day, (more than we ever had). We need it for our Adoption Fundraiser to bring our 3 little kids home from Ethiopia.

This week with a huge list of things to finish up, on top of everything else, 2 of my kids had birthdays. Ben turned 10, and Anna, the next day, turned 8. Two separate days of birthday parties, 2 cakes, 2 sets of kids, in the midst of everything else.

Thursday, I made 20 Pies, the kids and I made 6 batches of Cookies, and Charlie made 2 batches of Fudge. We made 4 gallons of Hot Chocolate. And 13 loaves of bread. So come yesterday, my birthday, I spent it working my tail off at a craft fair, sitting in the far back, dark corner of the room,  (I called it the Tundra), praying for customers.

By 1:00 I was ready to cry, it was so slow. I called our Pastor and told him our dilema, and he began praying and also agreed that we could bring the rest of our baked goods to the church to sell as part of our fundraiser between services. By the end of the day, we had made about $500. Pretty good for a small town of 1400 people in a bad economy. I was grateful.

We packed up and on our way home stopped and had a great charbroiled dinner at the Two Bit Saloon, :) (I love Montana), then we went home. We unpacked my stuff in the now frigid wind, then built a fire and sat down to open presents and cards and have cheesecake, my favorite.

There in a card, was a check for $500. My legs about folded underneath me and I started to cry. God knows our needs. He knows the timing of everything. He works all things together for good for those who love Him. He answered our prayers. $1000 by the end of the day.

Plus, as an added bonus, today at church we made another $228 from the remaining cookies, fudge and pies. God is able to do exceedingly more, above and beyond what we can imagine or think.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

God's Promise

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.' Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth."   Isaiah 43:5-6

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Will Follow You

Let the Waters Rise - Mikeschair

Don’t know where to begin, It's like my worlds caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear, Where do I go from here
Sometimes it's so hard to pray, When You feel so far away
but I am willing to go where You want me to, God I Trust You

There's a raging sea, Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise, If You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You

I will swim in the deep, Cuz you’ll be next to me
You’re in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
Your never out of reach, God You know where I’ve been
And You were there with me then
You were faithful before You’ll be faithful again
I’m holding Your hand

There's a raging sea, Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise, If You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You

God Your love is enough, You will pull me through
I’m holding onto You, God Your love is enough
I will follow You, I will follow You

There's a raging sea, Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise, If You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Visit our Just Love Coffee Store

We have recently signed up with Just Love Coffee.  With every bag of coffee you purchase,  we receive $5 towards our Adoption Fundraiser.  Another portion goes towards helping children in an Ethiopian orphanage. You can either join the Coffee Club or purchase single bags as desired.  They offer Fair Trade Coffees from around the world.  Thanks for your support!

www.justlovecoffee/schillingfamily

Loaves & Fishes

I must be honest.  I'm feeling very discouraged as I look up at this new mountain of continued fundraising, and wondering how this little stack of grant applications can equal what we need to complete our adoption journey.  So glad that when God is in control it has nothing to do with my feelings, but everything to do with His ability to do whatever He wants.

I am being reminded of what Jesus did with the 2 fish and 5 loaves.  He fed over 5000 people and there was 12 baskets full when they were done.

I hope this is the Lord's still small voice reminding me to trust Him.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Next Mountain

People are asking us, what's next?  When can you go pickup your kids?

International Adoption is a very long involved process.  Each step involves $ finances.

Our process is going something like this:

$  Home Study - Tons of paperwork                         
$  Choose an Adoption Agency - More paperwork      
    Education Requirements - Reading and paperwork        
    Choose Children to be Adopted - We chose 3!    
$  Gather Documents for Dossier - Mountain of paperwork
$  Passports for Everyone                                 
$  Submit I-600A - Apply for Homeland Security Approval
$  Get Fingerprints Taken   
    First Home Study put on on Hold
$  Second Home Study - new agency - Redo Paperwork                     
    Get an Approved Home Study - Praise the Lord!           
$  Apply for Adoption Grants  - This is next
Get Immunizations
    Receive an I-171H Approval from Homeland Security
$  Pay In-Country Fees - This is a HUGE Mountain!
$  Take Dossier to Helena, Montana to get State Seal
$  Submit Dossier to be Authenticated in Washington DC
$  Send Dossier to Ethiopia
    Receive a Court Date
    Pass Court -  Kids legally ours thru Power of Attorney!
$  Submit I-600 to Adopt 3 kids
$  Submit DS-230 App. for Immigrant Visa and Alien Registration
$  Submit I-864 Immigration Affidavit of Support
    Receive an Embassy Date
$  Make Travel Arrangements - another financial mountain
    Travel to Ethiopia
$  Food & Lodging
    PICK UP OUR KIDS!
    Show up for Embassy Appointment
$  Pick up Visas for kids
    Travel Home at last!

So far we have made it through the really tough stuff, at least it feels that way.  The first Home Study had been the biggest spiritual battle and hurdle to get over.  We have already had 2 large fundraisers, one in our town of Whitehall, MT and one in our church parking lot in Butte, MT.  Everyone has been very generous and helped us make it this far.  We were able to pay for 2 Home Studies, our Agency Fees, our I-600A, Fingerprints and Passports for our biological kids.

The next mountain is financing our In-Country Fees.  This next mountain is the most expensive one.  Now that our Home Study is completed, we can begin applying for Adoption Grants.  We are praying that God will continue to provide everything we need.  So far, He has.  And He always finishes things that He starts!

Even though it looks like we are not even half way through the list, if we had all of our finances today, the next part would go by fairly quickly.  So please pray with us as we begin to send out our grant applications this week.

Thanks!

Approved!

I can't believe where the time has gone since my last entry!  
Well, after a long and uphill climb, we have reached the top of this seemingly never-ending mountain!  Our Home Study is finally complete and we have been APPROVED for all three of our 3 kids!  Praise God! 

Cyndi from Global Adoptions sent us a copy of our Home Study to review.  As we read through it page by page I was just overwhelmed.  I remember when I was pregnant with Bethanie, our oldest daughter.  I had lost our first baby in misscarraige, and my pregnancy with Bethanie came with it's fears and a little trouble here and there.  Sometimes I would show signs of another misscarraige coming on, so I would have to stay off my feet.  When at last she finally arrived, all I could do was cry with relief!  I was so happy and relieved that she was finally born, alive and well!  I felt as though I had been holding my breath for 9 months and I could finally breathe!

That's how I felt that day reading the Home Study.  I feel like I have been carrying these children in my heart for so long, and many times it looked as though it would never come to pass, but now, I can see them coming.  They will be ours.  They will arrive, alive and well.  Praise God!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Choosing Birthdays

Our agency told us, that most often than not, the birthdays of the children are unknown.  Most folks out in the villages don't have a calender.  Plus, Ethiopia is on a different calender than we are.  They just celebrated New Years and it is now 2002.

So we were told that we could pick out our children's birthdays, for their birth certificates.  Wow.  What a task.  Since everyone just guesses at how old they are now.  Although, our litle boy's father did know how many months old he was, when he brought him to the orphanage. 

Note:  I'm waiting to find out if we are allowed to mention their African names on our blogs.  Ethiopia has strict laws about things like that.  We are not allowed to post any photos until they are legally our children.  We are going to use their African names as part of their American name. 

So our oldest girl's name will be Rachel ___ Hope.  She is now 5.  We figured she was born in 2004.

Our little girl's name will be Sarah ___ Joy.  She is now 3.  She was probably born in 06.

Our little boy's name will be Samuel ___ Joshua.  He just turned 2.  He was born in 07.

So Charlie and I sat down and prayed about what their birthdays should be.  The Lord is the only one who really knows.  And as we prayed the Lord brought scriptures to our minds, and I started writing them down.  And as I did, I noticed a pattern.  That is how we chose their birthdays.

Praying for Rachel Hope, the Lord gave us:
Genesis 29:17  RACHEL was lovely in form, and beautiful.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.

Rachel Hope's birthday will be 04/29/04.

Praying for Sarah Joy, the Lord gave us:
Genesis 17:15 ... her name will be SARAH...
Romans 8:15  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Adoption.  And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
Duet. 16:15  For the LORD your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your JOY will be complete.

Sarah Joy's birthday will be 06/15/06

Praying for Samuel Joshua, the Lord gave us:
Joshua 1:8  Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
Psalms 1:1-3 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

Samuel Joshua's birthday will be 08/01/07.

We were going to make it 07/01/07, but Charlie felt like the Lord said take Joshua 1:8 and make it 8:1.  So we did.  Later, Charlie did some math and found out that there is exactly 40+7 days between Rachel and Sarah's birthday and 40+7 days between Sarah and Samuel's birthday.

I looked up what the numbers 40 and 7 mean in the Bible.  I found out that together they the most commonly repeated numbers in the Bible.

"40, whether days, months, or years is ALWAYS a period of testing, trial, probation, or chastisement (but not judgment) and ends with a period of restoration, revival or renewal.  Some examples: the Israelites wandered for 40 years; Moses was living on the mount for 40 days; the story of Jonah and Nineveh lasted 40 days; Jesus was tempted for 40 days; and there were 40 days between Jesus’ resurrection and his ascension."

"Various references in the bible point out that the number '7' signifies God’s number and Divine perfection, for He is the only One who is perfect and complete."

Isn't The Lord good?

Labor Pains

Today I received an encouraging note from Melissa, mother of 12 children:

"Isn't it amazing what it takes to be allowed to do a simple thing like give a child a future and a loving home.  I guess they understand in their own way that sacrifice and endurance prove character.  It takes a lot to prove you are a trustworthy person.  You would have given up a long time ago if you were not.   Keep your eyes on that prize, Bonnie.

You ... are in labor!!!   Maybe transition has come today!!

He's making your kids a testimony that you will all share to encourage many about the faithfulness of God!!!  Each one of those documents is another stone in the altar.  How big will it become is His to answer.  How many will be touched by your adoption?

You are incredible!!!   Keep breathing!!!"

This was a very encouraging note.  I feel like I've been pregnant with these children for over 6 years!  We have seen the unltrasound pictures and we are having three!  Two girls and a boy!  Interestingly enough, the oldest little girl is almost 6.  Whew!  Talk about stretch marks ...

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Ark of the Covenant

Did you know that Ethiopians have believed for generation after generation that the Ark of the Covenant is in Ethiopia? 

Ethiopian Christians and Jews, believe that the Ark left Jerusalem in the days of King Solomon.  They believe that afer the meeting of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, who is from Ethiopia, (see 1 Kings 10) they had a son named Menelik.  They believe that Prince Menelik returned and took the Ark to Ethiopia. 

Today it is enshrined in a special treasury next to the Church of St. Mary of Zion in Axum, Ethiopia.  Only a high priest has seen it and has dedicated his whole life to guard it, and upon his death, a new priest will take up his post. 

I thought this was just facinating!  I found some cool videos on it as well.  If you are interested, follow the links to the right under "Ark of the Covenant - Digging for the Truth".  You can also Google "Axum Ark of the Covenant."  Very interesting!

More Paperwork ...

Today I filled out the first Homeland Security forms, the I-600A and sent them off along with a whopping check for the form and fingerprints.  Should get our Federal fingerprint appointment soon. 

Finished our Education Requirements and sending off another check to our Adoption Agency.

Next I faxed a bazillion documents to our new Home Study agency to get them caught up.  They are working rapidly to get our Home Study completed in record time.

Filled out forms for Child Protective Services that look back at every place and county we have ever lived in since we were 18.

Next week we have an appointment to draw blood .... just kidding.

I am tired ...

In the end, this will all be worth it!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Double Portion

Wow!  It is starting to sink in.  We are going to have 6 kids!  When they are all finally home, we will have 4 girls and 2 boys.  Ages 11,9,7,5,3,2.  We will have finally filled the Suburban.  Ben will finally have his little brother.  

We are entering the promised land and God is giving us a double portion.

Savior, He Can Move the Mountains ....

When our original home study agency told us they would only approve us for 2 of our 3 kids, we told them, we would have to pray about what to do next.  They were asking us to choose which child to leave behind! 

It took about 20 seconds to call my new friend in Dillon, the director of Global Adoptions.  She said, "There are two kinds of home study agencies.  There are the kind that think THEY know what is best for your family.  Then, there is the kind who thinks that YOU know what is best for your family.  We are that type of agency." 

After all that we have gone through, they have promised us that they will RUSH our home study.  We forwarded our paperwork to them and did an interview over the phone.  We gave them everything they needed, so they could make an initial decision.

They called and said, "Based on what we know now, we feel confident that we can approve you for all 3 children."  We still have to finish the whole homestudy, but this is excellent news!

It reminds me of a song.  "Savior, He can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save ... !

Mountains

With Adoption comes paperwork.  And lots of it.  Forms and more forms.  For International Adoption you must create a Dossier.  This is a collection of legal and original documents.  It looked like a mountain.

And then there is the International Homestudy.  Let's not even go there.  Our local agency (who will go unnamed) was taking their own sweet time and kept giving us more and more to do before we could even get our final home visit.  They became like a thorn in our side, holding us back.  We needed this home study so that we could begin applying for grants to fund our adoption. And we needed to be approved for all 3 of the children we had since fallen in love with.  Another mountain.

Know this ... there is an enemy. And he hates it when Christian families follow God's will. He hates it when fatherless children are adopted into loving families and are raised up in the love of the Lord.

But God has His own plans ... In June, someone told me of a pastor and his wife who lived nearby, in Dillon, MT. who had adopted 2 girls from Ethiopia. They said, "You should call them." As part of our ongoing fundraiser we went to Dillon, MT and had a booth at the fair. While I was there, I tried to found them!  I spoke with Cyndi and she explained that her daughter, Becky lived in Dillon and she gave me her phone number. The more we spoke I realized this was a God thing. I began explaining to her the troubles we were having with our home study agency. Then she tells me this: She is the director of an Adoption agency!  No way!   Yeah ... that's what I said!  Our God is so awesome. She prayed with me and then said, if they did not approve us for our 3 children, then give her a call.

The next day, her Ethiopian daughter met us at the fair. She is now 23. When she walked through the crowd, my heart started pounding. I felt like I was meeting a member of my family for the very first time. Turns out she speaks Oromigna, the same dialect that our children do. God is so awesome. By the way, our Ethiopian children don't know any English!

Last week on Wednesday, we had our final home study visit. It was the day were all had been waiting for for over 9 months! This very nice lady came to our home. She was very pleasant and kind. But we could tell that she had already made up her mind before she entered the room. As she was leaving she said, "If you were only adopting one, I would not have a problem approving you. But since you want to adopt three, I will have to talk with my supervisor."  Mountain.

As soon as she left we raced to church. We arrived very late, but just in time for prayer.  Our faithful friends gathered around us and prayed.  Our pastor prayed with authority.  When we was finished he said, "Don't get discouraged."

Noah Webster describes discouraged as: "the absence of courage."  In the book of Joshua, we read over and over, "Be strong and very courageous."  We started an internet prayer chain.  We spent the next week fasting and praying for our 3 kids in Ethiopia.  By Monday we had had enough!  I called the agency and said you need to give us an answer ... today.  That evening they called and told us that they would approve us for not 1 but 2 children.  Mountain.

Cross Over and Take the Land

Since the beginning of summer, ever since we signed up with Celebrate Children International, and began this part of the journey, we have been doing a Bible Study at church on the book of Joshua.  We read repeatedly, "Be strong and very courageous." 

In Joshua, the Israelites were told by God to cross over the Jordan and take the land that had been given to them as an inheritance and a promise from the Lord.  He told them to trust Him and to start walking ...

They stood up and assembled themselves.  They set one foot into the Jordan and the Lord pushed back the waters on all sides.  Then they passed through on dry land.  The Lord made a way for them when there was no way.  The land was theirs, but they still had to fight to conquer it and to receive the Lord's promises for them.

Every week, the Lord spoke to us through the Book of Joshua.  Encouraging us to keep walking, to keep praying, to keep trusting, to keep fighting, to be strong and very courageous. 

God Opens a Door

We had always thought we would adopt a baby from Latin America.  My mother is from Trinidad and so it just seemed natural to have that desire.  Others said, "What about Ethiopia?"  I said, "No, we really want to adopt from Latin America."  But every country we looked at was a closed door.  Then one day, I turned and looked, and said, "OK, what about Ethiopia?" 

In June of this year, we contacted Celebrate Children International.  They were the same agency we called when we were interested in adopting from Guatemala.  The doors swung open so fast it almost made my head spin!  I equated the feeling at the time as to being on one of those people movers in the airport.  Even when we were standing still, it felt like we were moving fast!

We had talked to other agencies about Ethiopia as well, but in the end decided on Celebrate Children.  Sue Hedberg and Angela Vance have been awesome!  Above and beyond everything else, it is obvious that the children are their first priority.   In fact, when I first called to sign up in June, Sue was in Ethiopia with the children and has been back several times.

We explained to them that we had been saving all of the money from our little business since last year, and that when our home study was completed, then we would be able to apply for Adoption Grants, in order to fund the rest.  Our Social Worker at the time, told us, we only needed to tell them what country we had decided on and give them the country specific information, and then they could complete our homestudy.   Celebrate Childen was more than willing to give us whatever information we needed.

They invited us to look at the Waiting Children list.  And of course we looked for a little boy and a little girl, with dark skin and dark hair. 

There was this one little boy.  The description of him said,  "...this sad little boy."  He did look sad.  All I wanted to do was pick him up and hug him.   He was one year old at the time. 

But there was no one little girl.  They asked us if we would consider sibling sisters.  We looked at the list and fell in love with two little sisters, ages 2 and 4.

God had at last opened a door!

Domestic Adoption - Another Closed Door

In January 2009, we attended our first 2 day training class on Open Adoption.  We had decided to adopt through the State of Montana. 

In the United States birthmothers are able to choose who will be the parents for their child from a pool of selected families.  We knew that God was calling us to adopt, and we knew that He could find us in a pool.  But after months of training, paperwork and a home visit, our social worker and her director sat down with us and told us that because of our age and because we already had 3 children, that they did not want to put us in the pool.  They said that the current trend was for birthmothers to choose young parents with no children.  They were afraid we would sit in the pool forever.  They suggested we adopt internationally.  They suggested Ethiopia. 

You are kidding me.  ANOTHER CLOSED DOOR!   It took a week of prayer to decide if we should even go on anymore.   But we still felt the Lord leading us forward.  I really felt as though He was saying, "Trust me in this.  Take a step forward.  I will meet you there.  One step at a time." 

"But the money!!!  What about the money?  Don't you know how expensive International Adoption is? "

He knows ...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Adoption Dreams

When we first got married in 1996, we knew we both wanted children.  We had talked about adoption.  After our frst baby was born, I thought, "Oh my gosh!  How can anyone go through this twice?!" 

After we had our second child, in 1999, we went to a open house about adoption from China.  We had heard about the one child rule imposed by their government and felt called to check into adopting a lttle girl.  We soon realized that we were over the age limit to adopt from China.

We moved to Montana in the fall of 2003.  Our son Ben was almost 4.  He began praying for a baby brother.  I began to have this burning desire to adopt a child.  I remembered the last dream I had, about the little boy and the little girl with dark skin and dark hair.  I called a local agency and began to seriously look into adoption.  But it was very expensive and we were just building a home and it kind of got pushed to the back burner. 

In 2005, Charlie went on a mission trip to Guatemala.  While he was there, he fell in love with 2 little boys.  He talked to the director while he was there about the possibilitiy of adopting them.  When he came home, we were on a mission to adopt those 2 little guys.  We started a fundraiser, only to raise $150.  We were very discouraged and gave up.  The boys were later adopted by another family.  Ben kept on praying.

In 2007, Charlie and I became foster parents for the first time.  We would foster with hopes of adopting.  We fostered a teeny little girl who had many health issues.  We had her for only three months.  She was recently adopted by a wonderful woman named Connie who was experienced with all of her medical needs.  Connie said she had always known that she would adopt another little girl and felt that it was totally God's will. 

All the while this burning desire to adopt children kept growing.  I would scan the photolistings looking for my 2 children.  I would cry over all the pictures of these children who so desperately needed a family.  I spent a lot of time on my face before the Lord.  Crying out to Him.  Telling Him that if I would never have more children, then to take this desire away from me!

Then last summer, 2008, I came to my husband one last time.  I told him, we HAVE to look into adoption one more time.  He agreed.  In July, I was at a county fair with my farmer's market business, Wild Prairie Farms, and the gal in the booth next to me told me about her 2 adopted children.  That was it.  I began saving my money that day for our adoption. 

Understanding God's Promise in the Midst of Sorrow

At our wedding shower, our friend Donna Retchless, remembers having a vision of us surrounded by lots of children .... 

One Sunday night in 2002, I left everyone home and  I went back to visit the Vancouver Vineyard during a worship night.  I went up for prayer and my friend Nola Smith, waited on the Lord.  Then she prayed over me and said, "God is saying, I won't give you one less or one more schilling than you need."  I immediately gasped!  She said, "What?  What does it mean?  Money?"  I said, "No!  Our last name is Schilling.  It means I am going to have more kids!"

Little did she know, 2 weeks later I found out that I was pregnant and had been that night!  With a 9 month old baby, a 2 year old and a 4 year old, this was overwhelming news!   I was stressed to say the least, but soon embraced this new little one.  During this time, I had another dream.  I dreamt I was holding both a little boy and a little girl.  They had dark skin and dark hair.  We immediately thought I was having twins!  We bought a used van to be able to hold us all, and got ready.

When I went in for my 10 week visit, the doctor was unable to detect a heart beat, but told me this was normal sometimes.  Not to worry.  But by the next week I new I was miscarrying.  We lost our baby on Christmas Eve night, 2002.  The next day, we buried it in a little wooden box under our forest of fir trees.  Just then the snow began to fall.  It felt like God's love all around me.  The song came to mind "Mercy is falling, is falling all over me ..."

God's Plans

One day after church, friends of ours were praying for me.  While I waited and listened for God's voice, I heard God say, "You are going to have a son."  This was funny to me, cause Charlie and I weren't even married yet.

Charlie and I both wanted to have kids.  He wanted a dozen.  At that time, I thought I only wanted 2.  We married in our 30's, so we got busy!  It took 8 months to get pregnant the first time.   Our church was in the middle of a 40 day fast.  Every day I prayed to have a baby.  At the end of that fast, I was pregnant.  My first pregancy ended after 11 days.  It was very heartbreaking.   But by God's mercy, by the next month I was pregnant again.

During that time, I was having the most bizarre, vivid dreams.  One time I dreamed that I had a dark haired little girl.  When Bethanie Grace was born, that's exactly what she was!

Later, we tried for 7 months to get pregnant again.  During that time, I had another dream, that I had a blonde baby boy!  I have dark hair and so does my husband, so I thought that was a funny dream.  When Benjamin David was born, he had blonde hair!

I was busy and up to my eyeballs in diapers.  I had my 2 kids and I was so happy!  But for about a year, I really felt the Lord hounding me.  "Would you consider having one more child?"  Over and over, I felt the Lord asking me this, "Just one more?"  We moved out to the country and started going to a new church.  I'm not kidding you, every family had like 5-11 children!  I was surrounded! 

Finally, I remember saying, "Yes Lord!  I'll have one more child."  BOOM, the very next month I was pregnant.  And yes, you guessed it.  I had a dream that I had another dark haired baby girl.  And when Anna Faith was born that's exacly what she was!

I thought I had my mind made up, but God had His plan.  Anna is such a blessing to our family, she is my most spiritual child.  When she was younger, she had dreams about Jesus coming into her room at night.  She lead the other children in deciding to get baptized at church when she was only 5. 

God know the plans He has for us.  Plans to prosper and not harm us.  Plans to give us a hope and a future.  All we need to do is surrender and follow Him.

A Very Special Present

Charlie and I were both Christians attending the same church, Vineyard Christian Fellowship of Vancouver, Washington.   I was the leader of a Worship Dance Team.   Charlie started coming to our church.  At first he kinda scared me... he was so quiet and I .... am NOT.  Dec 12th, 1995 was my birthday and our church was hosting a Vineyard Worship Conference.  Our dance team was there, dancing.  A friend came up to me and said, "The Lord has a present for you today..."   I said, "Great!  It's my birthday!"  She said, "It's a very special present."

Later that night we split off into groups to practice praying for one another.  We were in a large group of our friends.  Then the speaker, Wes Campbell said, split off into smaller groups.  That left Charlie, me and my friend Lori Stock.  As we were praying for Charlie, I felt this HUGE wave of love sweep over me.  I felt like I was drunk!  I had learned that when you feel things like that when praying, it is usually for the person you are praying for.  So I said, "Wow... the Lord REALLY loves you!"  Charlie told me later that he was so overcome, because he was praying about me.

A few days later Charlie invited me out to lunch.  And a month later we were engaged to be married!  God definately gave me a very special present that night!

Enlarging Our Tents

That scripture has always meant a lot to me.  For I was that barren woman.  Who married young, only to be rejected.  God gave me that promise many years ago.  That He was my Husband and he would never leave me or forsake me. 

Long after those days, Charlie and I were married in 1996.  We were blessed with 3 beautiful children.  But  we knew it was not enough.  The Lord put a desire deep within our hearts to adopt more children.  And these days He is reminding me about Isaiah 54.  He is telling us to "Enlarge Our Tents."

And these days I can be heard shouting for joy and bursting into song!  Unfortunately, I have also been spreading to the right and the left ... 
He has given me a new promise:

"All your sons will be taught by the LORD,
and great will be your children's peace."
 
Praise God!

Isaiah 54 - The Lord's Promise

1 "Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband," says the LORD.

2 "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.

3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5 For your Maker is your husband —
the LORD Almighty is his name —
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit —
a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God.

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.

13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD,
and great will be your children's peace.

17 no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me," declares the LORD.